I Will Teach You
by AbsoluteAnarchy
Summary: Deidara is a new experiment, and every experiment must have a tutor to guide them. Help them. Show them. Teach them how to be human. Sasori is a tutor with a new assignment; to look after the blonde. But with simple everyday tasks being difficult for the boy, Sasori knows this will be no walk in the park. WARNING: SasoDei & other Akastuki pairings. Don't like? Don't read.
1. I Shall Teach You

_Thump Thump_

Wha…what's happening? Where…where am I? Why am I floating?

_Thump Thump_

What is that noise? It…it seems to be coming from inside my chest…what could it be?

_Thump Thump_

Wait! Who…who are those people? Why are they reaching out for me? No! Stay away! Leave me alone!

_Thump Thump_

Please! Let go of me! Put me back! Don't take me away! No!

* * *

'He appears to be very lethargic doesn't he?'

'Well, that is predictable Dr. Akasuna; after all he has only just been awoken from his state of sleep. But that isn't the main issue here. The main issue is; do you still accept your assignment?'

'Of course I do, and I have to admit you have created a masterpiece here…'

'He is good-looking isn't he?'

'Quite.'

Two icy blue eyes struggled to open as the distant voices continued to converse. The blurred image of two men swam into focus. A bright white light was hovering behind them, creating a shadow that enveloped their features.

'Hold on. I believe he is awake.'

The azure eyes blinked several times to gain focus and widened when they saw the foreign land they were in. Their owner began to panic. He tried valiantly to sit up, but something was holding him down. Then he noticed a thick layer of glass in front of him. He was like an insect pinned to a board in a glass case.

'Hush. Calm down sweetheart, there is no need to be frightened.'

A sweeter, more feminine voice reached his ears and he relaxed slightly, soothed by the melodious sound.

'Relax sweetie, now I'm just going to open this and…there we go. That's better isn't it?'

He screwed his eyes up as the glass in front of him was slowly removed and the harsh light was allowed to reach him fully.

'Aaaawww. He is very cute, isn't he?'

'He isn't for you Konan, he is for Dr. Akasuna. Now get back to work.'

A grumbling sound was heard and the female figure departed. One of the men then turned to him. He spoke kindly, but did not seem as affectionate as the woman.

'Hello there, Deidara. How are you feeling? Can you talk? No, you're too young…'

The boy stared inquisitively at the person leaning towards him. They had long dark hair, tied into a loose ponytail save for a few delicate strands that framed their face and their complexion was rather pale. But the best feature by far was their eyes. They shone like beautiful black onyx pearls and for a moment, the boy was lost in them. Noticing this, the man smiled softly.

'Come on; let me help you up, Deidara.'

The man moved to pick the boy up and was undeterred by the weak squirming in protest. Instead, he simply placed the boy on a steel counter, his legs dangling over the side. His golden hair now fell down and framed his innocent face as he looked around the room in cute bewilderment. The walls were a dull white in colour and there were several pieces of metallic furniture, like that you would see in an operating theatre.

'Now let's see…ah, here we are.'

The man picked up a stack of papers from a desk in the corner and began to flip through them. 'Name: 00564 otherwise known as Deidara, age: about five minutes, and tutor…that would be you, Sasori.'

The blonde turned to the second man before him and tilted his head, examining the new figure. This man was shorter than the other one and had messy red hair, accompanied by large mahogany eyes and a pair of slim glasses. Like the other man, he was wearing a white lab coat and he too was smiling at the boy in an effort to calm him down.

'Of course, Itachi.' he murmured, looking over at the taller man.

'Are you sure you will be able to handle him?'

'Well he doesn't seem hostile…'

'They never do at first, but you never know what personality he will develop. I do hope he will be at least a little more civilised than the previous ones; we need new workers, not new fighters…'

'Trust me. I know what I'm doing. Now, is there anything else I need to know?'

'Yes, they normally panic when you take them home. You remember Hidan? Whenever Kakuzu tried to move him, he went mad. Although, with this one that doesn't seem likely…'

Deidara smiled innocently at the raven and began to swing his legs underneath the table, liking the feeling of being able to move his limbs. Itachi returned gesture. This one certainly was endearing.

Sasori turned to his co-worker. 'I will be fine. His name is Deidara, yes? Well, come along Deidara.'

The redhead motioned for Deidara to follow him, but the boy remained still and cocked his head in confusion. Sasori sighed and took the blonde by the hand, gently tugging him out of the room and into the narrow corridors of the facility. Deidara froze at what he saw. His blue eyes darted around in every possible direction, drinking in every new and exotic sight. Several men and women in white coats were walking up and down the monochromatic hallways. This world was so strange to him…

Sasori sighed when he realised the blonde's fear. He hesitantly tapped on the boy's shoulder and Deidara spun around to stare into the two deep chocolate eyes.

'Don't worry,' whispered Sasori soothingly, 'I shall teach you.'

* * *

I intend for this new story to be very adorable! :D

A review or two would be nice, but no flames please.


	2. I Shall Teach You Speech

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Akatsuki or any of the characters/concepts featured. All characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.**

* * *

'I knew this would happen. He has the IQ of a house plant.'

'Don't say that, Dr. Akasuna. I think he is the most precious little thing I have ever seen!'

'I don't want precious, Konan. I want results.'

'It's not his fault he can't speak; he's new. You're not a very good teacher.'

Deidara watched with wide, dejected eyes as the two continued to bicker. He was sitting cross-legged in the centre of the red-headed one's laboratory, and didn't like the loud noises the two were making. He whimpered and his grip tightened on the hem of his blue hospital gown. Were they angry? Why? He didn't understand what he had done wrong…

'I bet Kakuzu didn't treat Hidan like this! Why don't you ask him for advice, hm?'

'I passed a message to his room twenty minutes ago, but I don't see how he will be able to help!' Sasori hissed indignantly.

The blonde whined pitifully when his friend began to lose his cool and buried his face in his hands, wishing for it all to go away.

'Look, now you made the poor thing cry!' scolded the blue-haired woman.

She walked over to Deidara and knelt in front of him, taking his hands in her own. She stared into his two sad teal eyes with her own warm, amber orbs.

'Shhh, don't worry sweetheart, everything is going to be alright; Konan is here...' she cooed softly.

Then an idea came to her and she brightened. Reaching up, she carefully removed the white rose clip from her navy hair and placed it in front of the boy. The blonde ceased sniffling for a brief moment to stare at the new object. He wiped his eyes and picked it up, studying it intently before letting out a squeal of delight and appreciation.

Konan smiled fondly at him. Sasori frowned at the control she seemed to have.

'How did you do that?' asked the redhead, watching in disapproval as Deidara hugged the paper flower to his chest.

'Haven't you worked with any of the new ones before?'

'Obviously not."

'Well, it's similar to working with the children except-'

'You sent for me?'

The two turned to the door to see a man leaning in. He had tan skin that appeared to be riddled with unsightly stitches and wore a mask that covered his entire face, apart from two glowing green eyes. He also wore a lab coat, although it seemed slightly tattered and worn in places. Behind him stood another shorter figure, also a male, who seemed to have unusual silvery hair and stunning violet eyes. He wore only a pair of black cargo pants, and was smirking in a rather sadistic and creepy manner.

Deidara whined and shrank back from the two men, instinctively curling into a ball for protection. Konan rolled her golden eyes and turned to welcome the two arrivals, as Sasori was too busy sulking quietly in the corner.

'Kakuzu, thank you for coming, and this must be Hidan? How are you?' she asked, looking over at the shorter male. The young boy paused for a moment, processing what the woman had said, before speaking. His voice was audible but it was clear that he had trouble pronouncing a couple of the words.

'Yes, I am Hidan and…' he trailed off and thought for a moment before continuing: '…I am fucking great! Thank you for asking!'

Konan blinked several times in surprise, making her eyelashes flutter. She laughed nervously, 'Well, at least he is making progress with speech…'

Hidan grinned wildly at the compliment and Kakuzu stared at him suspiciously before pushing past the girl and into the room. 'Whatever. It's getting him to shut up that's the trick. Now what did you call me here for?'

'How exactly did you get Hidan to…speak?' asked Sasori.

The miser shrugged. 'I didn't get him to speak. I wanted him to be quiet, but he insisted on picking up words from everyone else. Pretty soon it was fuck this and fuck that and whatever.'

The redhead scowled. 'I don't think letting him use curse words will get you extra credit, and do you mean to say that he learnt to speak by himself?'

'It's my assignment; I'll do what I like and in answer to your question, yes. Why? Having trouble?'

Sasori eyed his co-worker incredulously, not sure if he was mocking him or not. 'Yes, mine won't talk. He's new, but I expected at least a word by now.'

He gestured to the blonde, who was still curled up in a ball on the floor.

Kakuzu stared at Deidara blankly for a moment, and then turned to Sasori again. 'Why is he on the floor?'

'Apparently I frightened him.'

Kakuzu chuckled, and walked towards another room of the laboratory. He stopped in the doorway and looked over his shoulder. 'Come with me, and be grateful I'm giving up my time to help you.'

Konan and Sasori nodded and made their way over to the miser. Hidan smiled and attempted to follow them, but a harsh look from his tutor told him to stay put. The boy growled in disappointment and promptly sat down next to Deidara, his arms crossed over his chest and his face flushed. He and the blonde stared at each other for a second. Deidara gave the silver haired boy a worried look and began to subconsciously play with his beautiful golden tresses. Hidan thought for a moment. They wanted this one to talk like he could? No problem. He would help them and then Kakuzu would be pleased with him! Yeah! He could be a…what was it? Tree? Tweeter? Teacher? Yeah, that was it! He could be a teacher!

He broke out into a wide grin, making the blonde beside him tremble.

* * *

'So I just need to spend time with him and he will pick it up?' asked Sasori keenly, walking out of the other room.

Kakuzu appeared behind him, shortly followed by Konan. 'Hopefully, yes. I mean, he will learn eventually, it just takes time and patience-'

'Kuzu!'

The miser flinched and looked up to see his 'assignment' bounding merrily towards him, a joyful grin plastered onto his features. The taller man glared at the boy. Hidan had never been able to pronounce his name properly, and so had taken to affectionately calling him "Kuzu". Personally though, he loathed the nickname. 'What?'

'I taught the other one to speak!'

All three were silent, staring at Hidan in disbelief.

'What?' murmured the scorpion. This boy taught Deidara to speak? How? How could he do that, when even someone as intelligent and sophisticated as Sasori found it difficult?

Hidan turned to the Deidara and made a weird motion with his hand, signalling for the boy to demonstrate what he had been taught. Konan, Kakuzu and Sasori leaned forward in anticipation, waiting to hear the blonde's first words. The boy cleared his throat and bellowed at the top of his lungs:

'Fuck this fucking shit, hm!'

Silence.

Sasori twitched, Konan's jaw dropped and Kakuzu shifted uneasily before muttering a goodbye and dragging a very smug-looking Hidan from the laboratory. Deidara smiled proudly, convinced he had succeeded. Sasori and Konan gaped at the boy in utter dismay as he began to prance jubilantly around the room, yelling more colourful swear words.

'Fuck, shit, bastard!' chirped the boy, happily.

Konan sighed and quickly made an excuse to leave the room.

Sasori remained motionless and continued to twitch like mad, his eyes wide and jaw clenched.

Well, at least he knew the blonde wasn't a mute…

* * *

Best first words ever! :D

I had a lot of fun writing this and, as always, review if you would like me to continue. :)


	3. I Shall Teach You Danger

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Akatsuki or any of the characters/concepts featured. All characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.**

* * *

'..Sori, hm?'

Sasori sighed and turned to face his inquisitive young student. Since that day a few weeks ago - when Deidara had first learned to talk - the redhead had succeeded in teaching him a number of simple words and phrases. In fact, for the first few days the blonde had pestered him about every little thing; asking what this was and what that was and what everything else in the laboratory was. The scorpion even managed to teach him never to repeat the words Hidan had told him. But much to Sasori's annoyance, he could not teach the boy how to say "Sasori". He would only ever address him as "Sori" and no matter how many times the scorpion begged the blonde to do otherwise, he just giggled.

'What?'

'…What is that, Sori?'

'This is fire, Deidara.' Answered the tutor. The blonde craned his neck forward to get a better view as his master continued to poke the embers in the fire place with a long stick, coaxing them to spring into life. Sasori knew it was a little risky to introduce Deidara to something harmful like this, but he also knew that it was important that the boy learnt about such dangers. Besides, his laboratory was getting cold.

'Fy…er?' repeated Deidara, experimenting with the new word.

'Fire.'

'Fyer, hm?'

Sasori shook his head and chuckled to himself. That was good enough he supposed. He could call it fyer if he wanted to. Suddenly, the fire jumped into life and several orange flames reared up from the ashes, causing Deidara to let out a terrified squeak and duck behind Sasori. The redhead smiled fondly down at the trembling blonde latched on to his white lab coat. He gently nudged the boy forward towards the fire, encouraging him to inspect the new phenomenon.

Satisfied it wasn't going to eat him the blonde crept over and knelt in front of the fireplace, magnetised by the bright orange light. He was like a moth to light bulb. He smiled happily as several bright sparks were spat out before disappearing into wisps of smoke. The flames continued to dance and twirl in his presence, making him giggle in appreciation and he let out a squeal of delight when the fire began to crackle hungrily. This was called fyer? It was beautiful!

Sasori stood watching the boy, a soft smile on his lips. Even he had to admit that this one was…cute. He walked over to his desk and opened one of the cabinets behind it, taking out a large file and flipping through the documents; his instructions from the leader. He frowned. According to the text, he would need to take Deidara outside soon, as it was important the new ones got fresh air because if they didn't they risked becoming too domesticated. He sighed and threw the folder on his desk. Well that was going to be difficult; the blond had only just gotten used to the laboratory, so taking him out into the big wide world could be very daunting. Sure, he looked like a normal eighteen or nineteen year old, and he was quite a quick learner, but he was still just a new experiment. Sasori had only just managed to deal with the blonde running around his laboratory and if he let him out of his sight for one minute then who knew what could happen and-

His looked up from the papers and his two coffee eyes widened when he saw the boy reach out to try and grasp the flames. With lightening reflexes, he lunged forward and grabbed the blonde, roughly pulling him away and earning a squeak of surprise and disappointment. Deidara looked up at him and pouted.

Sasori sighed in relief when he noticed no harm had come to his student. 'Don't do that again, Deidara.'

Deidara tilted his head to the side in confusion. 'Why?'

'You will get hurt.'

'Fyer…hurts people, hm?'

'Yes, if you touch it.' Sasori muttered, returning to his table. Deidara followed close behind him and sat down on the floor next to the scorpion's chair. The blonde stared up at him with big soulful, innocent blue eyes and smiled.

Sasori looked at him blankly. 'What?'

Deidara grinned, 'Nooothing, un.'

The redhead eyed him suspiciously before returning to his work. He picked up his pen to begin writing notes but it was jogged out of his hand when he felt something brush against his leg beneath the table. Smiling, he leaned down and peered into the shadows to see two gorgeous azure eyes watching at him from the darkness. No doubt their owner was grinning mischievously. Sasori chuckled. 'Deidara, what are y- Hey! Give them back now!'

Quick as a flash, the blonde reached out and playfully snatched Sasori's slim wire glasses off the bridge of his nose. Before the older male could make a move to get them back, Deidara emerged from under his desk and began to dance around the room, carrying the redhead's glasses like a trophy. He laughed joyfully when Sasori began to chase him and ran around, knocking over several chairs in the process. He was enjoying himself hugely; this was a great game! Sasori on the other hand, didn't really see the funny side.

'Give them back, Deidara!'

'No, Sori! You have to get them, un!'

'Come on, before you hurt yourself!'

'No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-'

'Say 'no' one more time and I'll-'

'No, hm!'

'Argh! Get back here!'

Deidara let out a bubbly string of giggles and effortlessly evaded the redhead every time he went to grab the boy. But he failed to look where he was going and it wasn't long before he slipped on a discarded sheet of paper and collapsed in a giggling heap on the floor. Sasori saw his chance and quickly pounced on the blonde. He hovered over the boy on all-fours and easily managed to wrestle his glasses out of the younger male's small hands. Only then did he realise what an awkward position they were in. The scorpion flushed a light pink, but the blonde beneath him had no idea what the position meant. He knew one thing and one thing only: he was having fun. Deidara merely laughed and leaned up, affectionately nuzzling the tip of his nose against his master's.

Sasori's eyes widened at the gesture and he instantly pulled back, crawling away from the blonde and standing up. He calmly brushing himself down and positioned his glasses on his nose once more, his cheeks still dusted pink. Deidara grinned innocently and sat up.

'Can we play the chasing game again tomorrow, hm?' he begged.

'…No.'

'Please, hm?'

'I said no.'

'Pleeease Sori, un!'

Sasori looked down at the boy and felt his resolve weakening. Deidara was giving him the classic puppy-dog eyes. Sasori sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose.

'Ugh. Fine, we can play again tomorrow...'

Deidara smiled and promptly attached himself to Sasori's legs in gratitude, nuzzling the white lab coat. 'Thank you Sori, hm!'

The tutor twitched at the sudden contact and tried to pry the blonde off but eventually gave up and stood in the centre of the room, allowing the boy to hug him. And the leader wanted him to take this ball of energy outside? _Yeah right._

* * *

Aaaawww!

As usual, review if you would like me to continue but no flames please.


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